When do you cut your losses?

Tonight finds me in a state of unrest and confusion. A couple of weeks ago I heard from John and we went out on a date. The date went great and we had a good time. Friday was my birthday and John and I went to dinner with another couple and once again, had a good time. Now, 2 days after that date there are problems. He told me that he had a rough day, emotionally but didn't want to discuss the details and canceled on seeing me tomorrow.

We talked for a while and he eluded to the fact that when he is in a relationship he puts some kind of pressure on himself, but never discussed what the pressure was related to. He has a fear that I will date him for a period of time and then figure out that he is a nut job and that I have wasted a lot of precious time on him. When we started this relationship back in February I had a lot of fear....fear of putting myself out there and getting hurt and I discussed that with him, but it seems like he has a lot more fear that I do!

Does he care about me more that he is letting on and that is what is bringing about these problems? I don't know...I suspect so, but until and unless he decides to let me into his world I will never truly know. Which brings about another fear that I have....the fear of my partner not being able to share important things with me. I want a relationship where my partner can let me know what he is dealing with and it doesn't appear to me that he will ever be able to do that. Are my expectations to high? I don't know.....How does one achieve that level of trust on both sides? Again, I don't know! What I do know is that two weeks after the restart of our relationship he is having problems.

I hesitate to let the relationship go because when he is well I am the benefactor of so many important things. He is intelligent, affectionate and generous. He bought me a beautiful necklace for my birthday and never has someone that I have dated been able to choose something so perfect for me....which tells me that he truly gets who I am as a person! There is a song out by the band Incubus called "Dig" and in the song they sing that we all have someone and something that "Digs" at us, but are the things that dig at him stopping him from having what could possibly be an amazing relationship? I think so....I am a big believer in envisioning your life....that is I believe that if you can get a mental image of you having a future with someone or doing your dream job, then it's very possible that this vision could become a reality. I have been able to do this since the day that I met him and that lends itself to even more confusion on my part.

So do I cut my losses and move on? I don't know! Do I hang in there and see if it can be turned around? I don't know....so as you can see, right now I don't know a whole lot!